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Jesus H. Attitude-Dancing Christ, MSN News Blurbs Can Be Damned Irritating!

01 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by danielwalldammit in History, Irritation Meditation, Religion

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

Bullshit, Jesus, Jesus Christ, Journalism, MSNBC, News, Skepticism, The Cross

JesusDon’t the folks at MSN know that I’m busy? Don’t they realize I have better things to do than rant about the slippage between their storylines and their headlines? Or is it some kinda clever plot to drive me bonkle-wozzies before the end of summer?

I mean, seriously, take a look at the teaser line for that story on MSN. Isn’t that amazing? No, not Zimmerman, silly, or the guy whose face I deliberately cut in half with the cropping tool (I’m in a bad mood); I mean the lady in the funny hat. Check out the line underneath it.

Seriously?

Somebody has reason to think they actually found a piece of the cross to which our dear and fluffy bamble-hussy was nailed in the way back when. And if that is true, then maybe a few other claims about that old carpenter’s cat might be true too, and damn! If that’s true, I guess I better re-evaluate a few things, not the least of them being the way I talk about our Lord and Savior.

Seriously, …uh oh!

Okay, I know it’s not really alleging proof of a miracle, but what the lie does suggest is that they have serious reason to believe a piece of wood actually dates back to the historical event of Christ’s crucifiction, and THAT would be a Hell of a piece of research to produce. It really would.

Jesus2But wait a minute, the actual headline on NBC News doesn’t have quite the same force as the front page teaser on MSN. The teaser is just the sort of phrasing you would use to put a claim on the table; the actual headline could as easily be used to suggest you were getting ready to throw the claim in the trash. This whole thing just got less interesting with a single click of the mouse. Still, I wonder what the Hell this is all about.

Guess I’ll have to read the article…

Oh well, it’s right here in the first paragraph.

Turkish archaeologists say they have found a stone chest in a 1,350-year-old church that appears to contain a relic venerated as a piece of Jesus’ cross.

It turns out that what MSNBC meant was little more than that they unearthed a artifact that WAS venerated as a piece of the old bad bark by a particular people in a particular time and place. The rest of the article discusses some of the comments thrown back and forth about such artifacts in centuries past, all of which is actually quite interesting, but what this piece does NOT contain is any reason to believe that it really is a piece of the most famous chunk of wood in human and (Divine) history.

Speaking of Icons, there is definitely an iconic relationship between the marketing of this article and its informative content, one that probably shouldn’t be there. Seriously MSN-NBCNews guys, it’s one thing to tell us about holy relic hyping; it’s quite another to hype a relic yourselves. …or at least those SHOULD be two-different things. The problem is at least partly a matter of slippage between the various stages of publication and promotion, but somewhere in there a potentially interesting story has been transformed into the rhetoric of carnival barking.

So, I guess this isn’t really the journalism-as-apologetics piece that the original teaser seemed to suggest it would be. Don’t get me wrong; this is actually kind of neat – in a perfectly-sober-professional-archaeologist-doing-what-those-guys-do sorta way, maybe even in a cool-find-and-high-fives-all-around-kinda-way, but definitely not in holy-carble-monkeys-you-has-found-the-holy-of-holies kinda way.

…one of these days I’ll go back to using real words in my posts.

But not today.

Today I am just blowing raspberries at the whole damned thing.

Speaking of absolutely bunk, let’s try an online poll. This oughtta be about as meaningful as all the other junk polls you get with news stories. I only regret that it will probably fail to find it’s way into anybodies talking points.

Dammit!

.

CORRECTION: I took a second look at this and changed a few things (including the title) on accounta I still think it’s June of 2012. Thanks to John for catching my mistake.

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The Straight Shooter Who Isn’t!

27 Sunday May 2012

Posted by danielwalldammit in General

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Ads, Advertizing, Alcohol, Bullshit, Commercials, Deception, Drinking, Michael Imperioli, Sopranos

I really love these 1800 Tequilla commercials!

By “love” I probably mean something else. But seriously, how can you not love a commercial that tells someone to drink like a man? A man oughtta dress like a man, and drink like a man, right? Mostly, remember to drink like a man!

Can these guys be just a little more flagrant about their use of peer-pressure? I get that it’s supposed to be fun, and I get that Michael Imperioli is doing a character (and by ‘get’ I probably mean ‘hope’), but this reminds me of the bad-guys in after-school specials and 70s sitcoms. I can practically hear someone in the background telling Greg Brady how all the cool kids are smoking. Seriously boy, drink like a man.

Drink like a man!

But that is nowhere near as golden as this next commercial. See that straight-shootin’ celebrity spokesman there. Proximo (the folks who make 1800 Tequila) wanted a non-nonse kind of guy for this campaign. According to Elwyn Gladstone, Vice President of Marketing; “The roles (Imperioli) has played in his acting career have made him an icon within American popular culture. Just like 1800 Tequila, he’s not going to be pushed around. He tells it like it is.”

I can see what they are talking about too. Other people get distracted by silly fluff and frivolous distractions, but not Imperioli. He’s a no-nonsense kind of guy, one who gets right to the heart of the matter!

…which is exactly why he sells Tequila by talking about cars.

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