It’s rather surprising to find out just how often a U.S. citizen can be told to go home or asked about where she (really) comes from.

It’s also infuriating

***

Contrary to popular opinion, a word doesn’t become Spanish by adding an [-o] to it. Using this construction does however make most any word irritating to her.

This can be useful, amusing, or painful to you, depending on the details.

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Rolling your Rs can be damned difficult.

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A speedy-Gonzalez voice is not funny. (She told me to add that it’s also kind of racist.)

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Taking a Mexican girl to a Mexican restaurant is not likely to impress her. You may hear comments such as “rice doesn’t really go with this” or “why would you put lettuce on that?” Also, don’t be surprised if she prefers Italian food, Shabu Shabu, or Korean BBQ.

Date her long enough and you may yourself ruined for an awful lot of Mexican restaurants.

Thanks Moni!

***

It turns out that an awful lot of famous Mexicans are actually Spaniards, and apparently that makes a difference.

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What a lot of us assume to be Mexican accents are actually northern Mexican accents. And apparently, this too matters.

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Anything you say about Mexico, Mexicans, or Mexican culture is racist. Anything she says about white people isn’t. This is how girlfriend privilege trumps white privilege.

…and it does.

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Don’t be surprised if music you think of as Mexican strikes her as redneck country music, or at least the south of the border equivalent thereof.

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Christmas is celebrated on Christmas Eve.

Because of course it is.

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Virtually every western you’ve ever loved has some Mexican character vamping up the stereotypes to the point of personal embarrassment.

She will feel that embarrassment first.

Then you will feel it more.

***

You will probably pay dearly for every tongue-in-cheek comment you make in this post.