So I bought a reversible “CLOSED” sign from a hardware store, hung it round my neck and walked into my office break room declaring, “I DESIGNATE THIS TABLE AS NON-SLAMMING, until 6 am.” Alas. Forsooth. Bummer. The slamming went on anyway, complaints from everyone about everyone else. I tried “Bitch Be Gone” in younger years. Didn’t work. I love signs. My favorite sign stunt involved one of those placards the chauffeurs hold up as they search the baggage claim crowd for Dr. Galakowicz. I stood next to a chauffeur with my own placard. After fifteen minutes of no success I removed my client’s name from the clear plastic holder. Apparently the “Brains” party had missed the flight.
northierthanthou 
So I bought a reversible “CLOSED” sign from a hardware store, hung it round my neck and walked into my office break room declaring, “I DESIGNATE THIS TABLE AS NON-SLAMMING, until 6 am.” Alas. Forsooth. Bummer. The slamming went on anyway, complaints from everyone about everyone else. I tried “Bitch Be Gone” in younger years. Didn’t work. I love signs. My favorite sign stunt involved one of those placards the chauffeurs hold up as they search the baggage claim crowd for Dr. Galakowicz. I stood next to a chauffeur with my own placard. After fifteen minutes of no success I removed my client’s name from the clear plastic holder. Apparently the “Brains” party had missed the flight.
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