Broke, Cats, Destruction, Funny, Hard Times, Humor, Memories, Money, Pets
This was many years back, and it may be too much information, but I still think it’s a funny story. Sad to say, it’s not fiction
How low can you sink in life?
That was my question, sitting there on the toilet seat, staring at the roll of toilet paper standing upright on the floor in front of me, my last roll of toilet paper.
…and realizing it was damned near out.
My cats were there to help me of course, as they always are when I head to the bathroom, but neither Fido nor Junkmail had any special skill in toilet-paper assessment. They flittered about my feet a little while before sliding one by one out the door and leaving me to ponder this new dilemma all by myself.
Would it be enough?
And might I need more before the day was out?
I knew I was also out of napkins, because I had used a bit of toilet paper for a napkin the night before. Presumably, I didn’t have any paper towels either. I would certainly have used one of those at dinner, if it’d been available.
So much for the store bought stuff!
I wondered if a few extra napkins from a fast food joint might be tucked away in a coat pocket somewhere, or perhaps stuffed into a space near the computer. Could I have set one to the side while downing a burger?
But of course, getting through the crisis of the moment was one thing; living through the next couple days was another. I really didn’t want to spend the five dollars remaining in my wallet on a package of toilet paper. So, this was a tough call.
I thought perhaps I could walk over to the mall and use their toilet, but wow! That’s desperation. When you can’t afford your own toiletries, you know life hasn’t turned out the way you planned.
I supposed I could get a single roll at the store for a little over a dollar if I remembered the prices correctly. That would leave me with about 4 dollars for other things. I preferred to buy in bulk, but that was no longer an option, much less a preference. In toiletries too, the inefficiencies of poverty prevail, even for those of us with no valid excuses for being poor. I had long since lost count of the stupid mistakes that had put me in this situation.
There was nothing feigned about that little moment of self-contempt. I was pretty pissed at myself. How much worse can things get I wondered, as I reached for the roll? How much more pathetic?
In a blaze of black and cream-colored fur, Fido flew into the room, tackled the roll and tumbled into the far corner of the bathroom just out a little beyond the reach of my hand. His claws and teeth whirled furiously about for a second or two before he darted out the door just as quickly as he’d entered it.
And there I sat, my hand still extended, staring at the pile of shreds that had formerly been my last roll of toilet paper.
You just have to have one hidden from the cats, as a cat servant myself, I know.
Good advice. I once had an entire stack of 48 destroyed. They’d been working on it for a week I think.
Hahahaha…….anything but their own toys! I hide everything if I don’t want it becoming the kitty toy.
JoAnn Chateau said:
Now that it’s history, Very Funny! As you intently stared at the toilet paper roll, your cat must have thought you were stalking it — and nabbed the TP just as you were getting ready to pounce. Ha, ha, he must think you’re the slowest hunter on earth.
Lol, he probably does think that. Fido also had ideas about when I should wake up and how to ensure that happened.
JoAnn Chateau said:
You have to admire his cross-species parenting skills. 🙂
Archon's Den said:
And don’t you just love it when they kindly pre-unroll it all for you on the floor? We have four; one instructor, and three learners. 😯
Oh cats can be soooo helpful!
Sorry, but I laughed, very loudly!
You were meant to.
Ha ha! That’s cats for you 😉
Your cat is named Fido? 🙂
Yes. I have three cats; Junkmail, Fido, and Auto-Kitty. I had a fourth cat named Burp, but she’s with my nephew now.
Capt Jill said:
cats can be pretty entertaining, right?
Hahaha, funny 😀 Oh well, my cat was very anti-social and never wanted to come inside of the house. Anyhow, a bottle of water is cheaper and more useful than toilet paper as Asians know 😉 How did you resolve this? Did you end up going to the store and unrolling their toilet paper for further use? 😀 That´s what I would probably end up doing.
As a person who shares a home with 7 cats, a couple of whom love to shred toilet paper, I found this so funny that I almost choked on my coffee as I was reading it! I can so picture this in my mind! Thanks for a chuckle this evening! 😀
Jennifer L Thorpe said:
Oh my gosh, I felt like I was there with you. Not sure how I feel about that. 😛